Future

Life is just so out of control. I hate it. I hate it I just hate it. Sometimes I just feel that I could kill myself. What the hell is happening to this life of mine? Where is my future?! What am I doing now, at the age of 21??????
I-J-U-S-T-H-A-T-E-M-Y-L-I-F-E
I hate it when i dun see myself clearly. I hate it that the realistic is so clear, reflecting on my life, I hate it when I am forced to face with it. I hate myself for being not brave enough to go away from all this. And I hate my personality. I hate my look. I hate my character. I hate myself.
Why am I going through all this fucking hell?
And this is just me. I have no more future. I can't see it anymore. I can't see myself as what I want to be, as what I expect my life would be, and how my future is .

I can just see the repetition of life again. My mom's life on me. This is just what I do not want it to happen.
I loathe myself.

Michelle...

Yesterday was fun! I chatted with michelle a.k.a chelle chelle on msn yesterday.. I missed her so much.. we chatted about recently stuffs.. I missed her so much.. I missed law so much.. all abt ELS, tort and contract law.. i just love language.. i love the way Ananth teach, i love the way he teach us as in like a story book...
Well, I can't deny that i miss KL.. I missed the fast pace in KL.. I am so tired in JB.. everything.. I am tired of working, tired of bringing up the kid in my life, tired of teaching "it"..
Well well well.. Let us just see what will happen in the life after end of this year to see is there any changes.. I dunno, I wanted a change, but I am considering a lot of things... Let just see how things go on ..